The queen has arrived

                                                 April 27, 1994 a queen was born.
Times flies when you are enjoying life. I just turn 23 years old.  (even through you should never ask a woman her age. I'm not to the point were I'm discouraged about telling my age) I think year is DEFINITELY going to be a great year. This year my motto is about taken risk and getting out of my confront zone. Since self love has been my theme for this year. I'm going to apply My motto to self love. It can be overwhelming. Here some thing I've done in the past that help me push myself out of my confront zone.

• When you wear a something out of your confront zone Isand you are about to go outside. Wear sunglasses, put your earphones in and TURN UP THE MUSIC! (this help me because I felt like sunglasses disguise my face. The music tune out everyone around me)
• Stand Up straight with you head up high when you walk. ( walk like a queen because YOU ARE!)
• Kill out all those negative thought about yourself. (You are your worst enemy. If you keep thinking about you are not pretty enough or you are not good enough you will start to believe it. However, if you start saying positive things about yourself your will start to believe it.)

Now let's get into my outfit. I wanted something that will take me to the next level. I stressed about my outfit everyday for the past month. I brought a top from Boohoo. Unfortunately my boobs were too big. I brought a bralette to see if I can make things work out but I played myself. This bodysuit I brought over a year ago. I saw it at Asos. Immediately I had to get it. I ended up not wear because it was too small.  I had a random thpufht about this bodysuit. Since I was stressing about what I wanted to wear. I tired it on. Thank goodness it fits now lol.  The thing I did that step out of my confront zone was I didnt wear a body shaper. I always had this idea of being that perfect body shape. Especially being in a tight outfit it made me feel intimidated. I decided to make that move and I'm happy I did. I felt beautiful I was obsessed with myself. (Still am) I feel like everybody should be obsessed.
 
   Top:Asos
   Skirt:Forever 21
   Shoes: torrid
   Makeup: @SymoneBMitchell (on Instagram)

Loving yourself

       "Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn't have the time to sit around and talk about you. What's important to me is not others' opinions of me, but what's important to me is my opinion of myself."- C. joybell. 

      Learning how to love yourself is VERY difficult. It took me over 4 years to accept myself for who I am. I have days now when I'm not confident or I feel like I am not good enough. However, I look in the mirror and snap right out of it. I continue to tell myself that I am good enough or pretty enough. You have to get into that habit to tell yourself that. Its not going to be easy I KNOW but always remember nothing in life that's worth it is easy. DON'T FORGET YOU ARE WORTH IT.
   Talking about how I learn to love myself is a VERY LONG list. Therefore, I'm going to break it up into parts. One of the ways I learned to love myself is eliminating people that always talking negative about my weight. You ever heard the saying if you want to change your ways you must change your circle first. Wellll......its soo true. Being around people who always talking down about you is not going to help you. Unfortunately you are going to believe them and beat yourself up.more for not looking a certain way.
Personally, I am an emotional eater (which isnt good). In otherwise If I feel bad about myself I'm going to eat which is going to make me gain more weight which means I'm going to more depress. Thats not helping me at all. Eliminating people that you care about isn't easy but is necessary. Be selfish with who you give the pleasure of seeing your presences.  You are a DIAMOND.
                           Something Personal
I was always bullied about my weight when I was younger. I was ALWAYS the tallest person in class which made my self-esteem lower.  I didn't care about how I look. I use to look in the mirror and get disgusted with myself. I HATED myself, I never understand why I wasn't pretty enough. When I was 18 one of my family member told me that they would pay for a gastric bypass.  He explained that he wanted to see his baby look good when I graduated from school. I was lost of words. After we got off the phone all I could do was cry. I was confused. I questioned myself, was I really THAT fat? Did I need to get a gastric bypass? I thought it was for people over 500 pounds. Life or death situation.  I use all the pain to push me harder to make a better person for myself.  Its not easy but its worth it. 💜
                                       
                                 Fashion
Me and my friend went to New York because she audition for full figure fashion week. Of course she gave the judges LIFE so well see if they pick her to be a model for the fashion show. I'll give yall a update when we hear back. Since we were in New York we HAD to take pictures. My top is from Pennington  (which is old) my boyfriend jeans are from fashion to figure. Jacket (thift) boots from Ashley stewart (which is old).

My perfect body

• “Defining myself, as opposed to being defined by others, is one of the most difficult challenges I face.” – Carol Moseley-Braun
•    Being a plus size woman in this world is hard. Its getting better but I definitely do feel like we have a looonngg way to go. There is no diversity in sizes when it come to the plus size industry. Unfortunately, brand only have models who have hourglass figures  with flat stomach and little to none back fat and that only 10% of the plus size population. What about the other 90% of the population? How are we represented? Models are suppose to represent  the people, not just a particular body shape. I feel like that contributes to why women have low self-esteem.  This is one of the main reason why I started blogging was because I want to show people that you can still be fly and you dont have a hpurglass figure.
•   I know living in a world that only idolized  women that has a hourglass figure or a pear shape is imitating. I know sometimes you wonder if you are good enough.  You try to look at bloggers that give you some inspiration but a lot of them are doing the same shit expect for a few.  I understand because i feel the same way. Honestly, I'm  not blogger to get "popular" or "Internet famous". I'm blogging because I want to motivate people.to push out of your comfront zone, show more skin, do you and be confident about it. Walk that street like.its your runway. (Hoonnntteeyyy) Tell yourself everyday that you are AMAZING,BEAUTIFUL, and YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO.LOVE ANYBODY COMPLETELY UNTIL YOU LOVE YOURSELF!! SELF-LOVE IS SO IMPORTANT!!!! I PROMISE next post I will discussed how I learned to love myself.  
•    As far as the picture, I took.them unexpectedly. I was taking pictures of my friend, she is going to audtion for full figure fashion week model. After we was done with taking pictures of her, (myshe assisted on taking pictures of me. At first I didn't want to but  I gave in. I decided to use them to show my imperfections.  The "perfect body" is the one you look at everyday.  💜
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NEW YEAR!!!

Happy New Year!!!!! Not New 'Years' for people who didn't realize we are not skipping to 2018 only 2017. We are only going to 1 year not more than one. Anyway! I hope your New year is going swell. Mine is going good so far. Time is going by fast I feel like in a blink of an eye I'm going to be 30. (Lol) Maybe I am exaggerating (a little too much) because I'm only 22. However, I felt like this year I wanted to start making goals for myself.  I wrote a few things down so far. I'll share them with you when I finish my list. I'm going to get a foam poster board and decorate with my goals for 2017. So I can keep my eyes on the prize.
           Let's talk about the good stuff!!
  It's funny because I had an idea what I was going to wear for NYE months in advance.  (I know I'm really a fashionista)
I saw the satin trench coat at rebdolls amd new that was for me. However, I REFUSED to pay over a 100 dollars for it. I decided to wait until black friday to buy it. I knew they was going to  have good deals. ( I knew if they jacket was meant for me there would be one  waiting for me in my size) I looked on Thanksgiving day and the jacket  was on sale for 40 DOLLARS!!!!  As far as my dress I got it from Rebdolls because  it had a chocker. I LOVE THEM.  I got my shoes from torrid  i really want burgundy heels but I couldn't find them in my  size. I decided to wear baby pink shoes.